darlingfox: ([atla] fight like a girl)
You know what's wrong with this?





Everything!

It's nothing like I imagined in my mind when I read the book. That has to be some kind of a record, right? Nothing is right, not the actors, not the settings, not the humour, nothing. Did I mention the actors? Not one of them looks like I imagined them, not Stephanie, not Ranger, not Morelli, not even Grandma Mazur.

These books are my favorite popcorn for the brain reading and I would've loved to see a movie version that was actually good. But no, of course not, silly of me to think they'd put some thought into it. They should've made this ten years ago and cast Sandra Bullock (always my Stephanie), Dwayne Johnson (Ranger) and Queen Latifah (omg she would've been perfect Lula). Or, you know, someone else than those people you see above.

In conclusion: damn it. >:(
darlingfox: ([misc] read and learn)
Snagged from [community profile] indeedsir to which it was posted for a good reason: this is probably what happens to Bertie Wooster all the time.




Beaver Valley Times, October 28, 1946
darlingfox: ([misc] read and learn)
I just watched Twilight (it was on TV) and I made notes.


that didn't sound ominous at all! )


...I'm almost tempted to watch the sequels. Just to see if they're as bad, not because I enjoyed this (well, okay, I enjoyed the snark)!
darlingfox: ([fairy tail] that's just creepy)
Maggie Stiefvater's Shiver, 13th chapter (Sam, +7C), rough translation from Finnish:


I was like a bleeding womb where seeds of conscious thought lived in [descriptive stuff that has nothing to do with bleeding wombs]--


I can't believe someone thought that was a good simile to put into a book. It doesn't even make any sense! Bleeding womb like having your periods or like having a miscarriage? And WTF is the stuff about frosty forests and changing seasons after that? Also, how would the POV guy know what a bleeding womb feels like? I mean, what?
darlingfox: ([g00] you're all unfit idiots)
In order to broaden my horizons, I'm currently reading The Mammoth Book of Paranormal Romance. It's a collection of short paranormal romances written by various authors. I'm somewhere around story nine (writing short reviews as I go, so I'll post them when I'm finished), and only one hasn't left me rolling my eyes and/or wanting to bash the author's skull in.

I've understood that these stories are increasingly popular among (young) women, and I can't help wondering why. They're certainly not feministic, or if they are, it's only the surface covering horrible caveman-like attitude. The authors don't even seem to realise the real, serious issues their writing may have.

For example, there's this one story about a woman who's more or less a zookeeper of mythological creatures. Fine, except that some of them are highly intelligent creatures. The author/protagonist mentions offhandedly that the resident vampire has gone through every possible test save being set free. I don't know about you, but I can easily imagine what kind of tests those were. Seems to me that the author wasn't able to decide whether the creatures were animals or, for the lack of a better word, humans. When the protagonist did finally get it on with a selkie man, I didn't know whether she was doing it with an animal or a human prisoner/guinea pig. I'm not sure which option disturbs me more.

Still, there's the possibility that the author would've explored that particular subject more if she could've written a longer story (damn it, I want to believe that). It's only 19 pages as it is, and there's a limit of how much stuff you can put in that. The "relationship" between the protagonist and the selkie certainly was delightfully selfish and twisted.
darlingfox: (Default)
Would you look at that? There's apparently an official Naruto high school AU and it doesn't look all that bad.

[translations here and here]

But it does look like the people responsible for it smoked the good crack (probably the same crack One Piece people smoke. babysitting Zoro = endless fun).

Orochimaru and Kabuto- No, sorry, I mean Maruko and Kabuko pretend to be transfer students in order to seduce Sasuke to another school (so they say, but with them you never know).

Two pics, not brain safe. )

There are no words to describe my feelings, but I think they're somewhere between "oh god, why" and "awesome idea" while I laugh like a demented hyena.

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December 2012

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